08 Jan LOVELEE STORYTIME | Hunker’n Heal

After spending most of February 2020 in Poland with Wim and hundreds of beautiful Beings breathing boldly, in small spaces, singing, dancing and sharing saunas like sardines together, I traveled back to the states, hearing faint whispers of Covid on the wind.

The deep connections forged while in Poland (and in the years past) encouraged me to create a way to stay linked to our growing global community. This sparked the beginning of our online Lovelee Practice space. Little did I know how relevant this online platform would be in the coming months. 

I spent early March driving across the country. I visited a dear, elderly friend. I stopped and soaked in warm stinky hot springs all along the way. Mmmm minerals.. Looking back, these were such special experiences that would soon be impossible. A few days upon returning home to Denver I had to cancel my upcoming workshop and we all know what happened from there.

Lonely Shadows 

For me, it was in these first few months of isolation that I faced the fear of being alone, along with all of the shadows casted by this fear. Uncertainty can be like a monster in the closet; foreboding, and can appear bigger and more mysterious than it actually is. 

Looking the lonely monster in the eyes, I turned to daily walks in the sun, regular breathing, movement, and awareness practices, as solace to the solitude. My self-care explorations inspired a time of sweet nurturing, humbling reflections, and created sparkles of acceptance that danced around my shadows.

All that being said, I was still in Denver and able to walk my pups alongside the river, get take-out from my favorite restaurants, and see other humans at a safe distance. 

Alas, it was at this point that life offered me another opportunity to take this hunker’n to a whole new level. Perspective!

A Lone Oasis 

My sister and I are grateful to have inherited fifty acres of land surrounded by national forest in East Texas, where my roots are. 

However, for the past 15 years I’ve been branching into ‘the big city life,’ and traveling all over the world. 

To return home has been a significant transition, and in this story, it is Camplee. 

Camplee is….

A  forest, a peaceful oasis, a homestead, and soon to be… a Lovelee Retreat Center. 

I went from sheltering in place in the middle of Denver, to a land where often the only creatures I experienced on the daily were my dogs, some baby deer, the same two herons (Baren and Garen), the rare bald eagle, sly foxes, sleek bobcats, a horde of wild hogs, cackling coyotes, and sneaky scorpions. 

The transition was welcomed, and as I soon discovered, intensely challenging. 

It was a rough landing. I sustained an injury right away, which created what felt like an obstacle in every realm imaginable. The new level of solitude I had learned from in Denver was nothing compared to the silence and stillness at the camp. 

Having studied an array of energetic and healing arts for over a decade, I appreciate the immense value this kind of environment can provide. However, until now, I have not had the opportunity to dive in quite so deeply, and for quite so long.

It is as if the shadows are darker in the stillness, and scarier in the silence. After a few weeks it was clear to me I would need to deepen my level of commitment to self-study as I acclimated to my new lifestyle. 

This included shadow hunting, habit checking, and lifestyle unlearning. 

Chopping wood – my new meditation, crafting compost – my new movement medicine, and gardening – my new breathing companion.